My first night at a swinger’s club

Saturday, after 10 hours of class, I went home, got myself dressed up all snazzy and headed out to the local swingers club. A friend from school and her boyfriend were there, as was a lovely couple I had met at the tattoo shop a few weeks ago, so I didn’t feel completely alone.

The club itself was awesome. There was a main room with a dance floor, bar and stripper pole. There was another main room with 2 more stripper poles, another bar and a purple pool table. In the rest of the club, there were 5 private rooms (one had a liberator, one had a waterproof mattress for wet and messy play, etc). There were 3 stalls (like a bathroom stalls with no doors) for people who wanted to be watched, and chairs for those wanting to watch them. Up front was a large (leopard print!) group sex area, and 3 semi-private tiki huts (1 with a mattress, 1 with a liberator and 1 with a massage table). There was also a large shower area and two hot tubs.

They had a lovely buffet (with vegetarian options) and delish desserts. It was a BYOB with hot bartenders (male and female) who mixed drinks for you, although I decided to stay 100% sober for a variety of reasons. All the staff were super nice and outgoing, and it was a welcoming environment.

My friends from the tattoo shop told me I might be overwhelmed, as single women were considered “Unicorns” (ie, do they really exist?!?!). In reference to this, I had brought my Unicorn Horn dildo with some a vibrator or two, lube and safer sex supplies, which I kept in the lockers. However, it didn’t really turn out that way. I had one person approach me before midnight, and it wasn’t really an approach; I was dancing in a group of women, and he was of their husbands’ and offered me scotch since I didn’t have a drink. I spent most of the night dancing on my own (which is fine; I love to dance, and don’t mind making a fool out of myself). However, I eventually was getting kind of bored of doing everything on my own (my school friend and her boyfriend had left when someone spilled a drink on her while she was sucking his cock, and my tattoo parlor friends were off fucking another couple somewhere), so I sat down and considered leaving. I guess I had thought that lots of swingers would be into adding a single woman, or that all these “bi” or “bi-curious” identified women would be excited to give another female a go (whether or not their husband watched), but most of the people (at least that night) were looking for full swaps; husband and wife (or m/f couple to m/f couple). I was also the most alternative person there; the only one with multiple visible tattoos and the only one with interestingly colored hair.

As I debated heading home, as I had class at 10am, a gentleman approached me, introduced himself, and told me that he wanted to welcome me to the scene, and commend me for coming out that night on my own. I met his wife, who was nice, and looked 25 (but turned out to be 34 with a 16 year old daughter, which is why you shouldn’t ever make assumptions). She was cute, and super friendly, and after some discussion, we wound up making our to one of the tiki huts, the one with the large mattress. After some making out, the clothes started coming off, and she was nice enough to offer to go down on me. I accepted and it was ok (I don’t know if she had much experience, and it felt like she might have been mimicking girl on girl, gay for pay porn), nothing amazing, but what was incredibly hot was opening my eyes now and again to see the occasional person moving the raffia shades out of the way to look in on us. I am more of an exhibitionist than I thought; I got such a thrill out of being watched.

(side note; am I the only one who doesn’t like someone to stick their tongue in within the first 2.5 seconds of kissing? I like rough, biting, nibbling, aggressive kissing, yes, but I like regular kissing first, before I have tongue in my mouth. I want to WANT the tongue, I want to almost be begging for you to give it to me. to me, tongue first is like “hi, nice to meet you, let me stick my fingers in your vagina.” You just don’t do it (usually) without foreplay of some sort. I want at least like 30 seconds (or 2 minutes?) of kissing foreplay. Am I crazy?)

After a bit, I decided to switch, and by this point, her husband had made her way back. As I went down on her, he moved behind me, lifting my skirt and rubbing my ass, and then I *think* trying to penetrate me with my fingers. I let him do whatever he was doing, because I felt bad for leaving him out, but I really got nothing out of it, and honestly, it was distracting. I like to eat “pussy” (I still feel weird using that term, but do you really eat cunt?), but I like to but all my attention into it, and distractions (other than back massages) are, well, distracting.

She came over and over until she almost fell off the mattress, and then I politely asked her if I could fuck her with a few fingers. After a few breaths and saying “you’re amazing,” she graciously accepted, and I began to fuck her cunt. Is it weird that I get a high of sorts off of making others come? God, it’s so hot, and so empowering. After a few more orgasms, she told me she couldn’t handle anymore. I pulled my hand out…and there was blood all over it.

Now, I have no issues with blood if it’s not coming out of my body. I fuck myself on my period, don’t mind being fucked on my period, and will fuck others on their periods. I was just surprised she hadn’t mentioned it, so I asked her if she was due to start her period soon. She looked at me oddly, and said “no, I had a hysterectomy.” I asked if it had been recently, and when she said no, it was in 2004 when she had cancer, and she hadn’t been back to see her doctor since then, I held up my hand. It was literally dripping blood, and more was coming out of her.

Her husband and I got her some paper towels, and I said I thought she should go to the ER and get it checked out. I offered to drive them, or follow them there, but they decided to go home, and they were nice enough to email me Sunday and let me know that she was ok, just cramping. I thanked them for letting me know, but suggested she still get it checked out. I mean, if you don’t have a uterus to bleed, and are bleeding heavily (and have had cancer), you REALLY need to check it out.

Minus the blood, it was really fun. My only problem was that I only am interested in guys sexually if I’m really attracted to them (which I wasn’t to most of the guys there, minus the bartenders…mmmm), and if there is trust there (like my guy friend from home who has hot cyber sex with me, and who I’d totally let fuck me when I move back to CO if he was single). Otherwise, I’m not even into manual or oral sex. They have to be intelligent, and respectful, and I have to have SOME sort of chemistry and honestly, I don’t know if I’m going to get that at a swingers club. So I don’t know how well that’s going to work for me. I did win a contest for a free night, so I’ll definitely go back, and will probably get the $30 membership (hell, if I can’t find anyone there, I can always just masturbate in public…hehehe). But I think sex parties, if I can ever find one with my type o’ folks, is probably a better plan.

But all in all, a good experience. I wish I had started trying to fuck lots of people before now. Because I have a little over 3 months left on the East Coast, and I really should have hopped on this (no pun intended) sooner.

Essin’ Em